04 Mar 14 at 2 pm


follow me for further posts to come -very- soon!

Love you all.

06 Feb 14 at 10 pm


This man right here has been one of the most important people in my life for the last 7 years. Because of him I learned what it really meant to love someone. I loved him more than anything in this world, and I still love him so so much. He went through all the ups and downs of dealing with my cancer. And then he got his own.

In 2010 John was diagnosed with brain cancer in the same place I had mine. He had surgery and radiation and was a shell of who he was but was declared cancer free. That was until 3 years later when they were doing a yearly check up and found that the cancer was back… and had spread to ever bone in his body.

I had the opportunity to see him after his diagnosis and he was in so much pain he could barely talk and his bones were so brittle he couldn’t walk. The man I had known for his independence was suddenly asking me to help him get pain meds and ice packs. He told me “If I can only say it one more time, I love you. I just want to know if you’re ok with the next time you see me being at my funeral.”

I really don’t want his funeral to be the last time I see the man who I thought would be by my side forever. If they’re able to afford these stem cell treatments, he actually has a chance. Especially since he’s the most stubborn person I know.

(via fogblogger)

Help save my best friend
21 Jan 14 at 2 pm
As some of you know I am training to become a Medicine Woman with my Auntie Fawn in Southwest OR. I am walking a ‘Medicine Path’ trying to learn how to heal people and working towards my Auntie’s Bundle (her medicine knowledge/powers) I am basically going to be her apprentice. For those of you who don’t jive with this kind of speak I’ll basically be doing Don Juan kind of stuffs.

‘Holistic’ or spiritual healing is very real. As crazy as it sounds, especially coming from someone as logical as me who wants to eventually get their PhD in Physics, I got HEALED from my celiac disease! How? I suppose the ‘powers that be’ did it along with my Auntie Fawn who threw me in a tipi and BAM!.. I can eat gluten. It changed my life, blew my mind, skewed my entire perception of the Universe.

My Auntie, Mother JourneyHawk, is looking for Medicine Helpers to be trained to help around the camp. She just recently got the solar power put up on the mountain chalet, and there is a back-up generator. The property is very large, 80 acres of beautiful Shire-like forest nestled on top of a mountain that is 5 miles from the nearest dirt road and 10 miles from the nearest paved road. All the water comes in (untreated and untouched by anyone) from an underground spring. The water never even sees the light of day! Worried about that fluoride or chemicals or BPA’s or whatnot? This water is some of the most delicious water I’ve ever tasted (doesn’t beat Havasupai water though) It’s SO beautiful! Don’t you want to get away from the city for the Spring? There’s no police department, no sirens going off, no traffic. You’re only 30-45 minutes away from the ocean. It’s green out there, and when I say green I mean GREEN. It is one of the most peaceful places I’ve ever been. My Auntie is also one of the most laid-back and humorous people I know.

You don’t have to be Native/Indian, you don’t have to have ‘powers’, you can be trained to help people who are sick. Or…

We need a masseuse for the camp, or like a relaxing back-rub therapist. They’ll learn to use essential oils to balance emotions and ease ailments. Does this interest you?

We need someone to work in the greenhouse and help grow food so that we can be self-sufficient. Does this interest you?

We’ll also be working with a meter-reader and very expensive frequency meters that Dr. Lenny, a retired physicist, can teach people how to calibrate and use the equipment. We need help building a special room that can block out all outside frequencies/radio signals/radiation ect…
I’ll likely be the one working with the meter but I still need people to help me with the room/patients. Does this interest you?

Through efforts of organized religion our society no longer understands or appreciates indigenous power connections. However, change will be ushered in through truth. My Auntie predicts that 2015 is when SHTF. She was advised to make a island of safety that is self-sufficient and secluded. It’s getting there, she has a HUGE greenhouse (that we need help putting up!) the solar panels are up, and the water is always there. To my Auntie creating a safe environment is top priority.

My Auntie isn’t a teacher, she is an Elder willing to share her knowledge with those who can hear. She’s not a ‘healer’ she has the ability to connect others to the ‘Higher Powers of Healing.’ She is not considered a ‘Seer’ but she receives information during her dream time. She’s dreamt of weather disaster, blackouts, among many other horrible things and being that she has healed me I have absolutely no problem believing it.

We need helpers, if this Medicine Path or training interests you please contact me. My email is phosphenesandaether@gmail.com I don’t care if you live hundreds of miles away, if you can make it happen please contact me. We’d love to have you.
24 Jul 13 at 11 am
tags: self  mine 

As Murakami says, life is just a continual loss of things. And you’ll always end up losing things you thought you wanted to keep and rarely the things you didn’t care if they were lost. 

I scroll through endless photos of muted pastels and sepia bare-chested women. It makes me feel odd, cold, but not discontent. Just odd and cold and like I missed the boat or something. The boat on what? I don’t know. Sometimes I endlessly feel like I’m floating in a sea of my own dreams when I look on the internet. When I look at my own collected bookmarked tabs, liked photos, and folder after folder full of imgs and gifs, I wonder what I see of myself in them. 

Humans are primarily visual creatures, we eat pictures up. We devour them, like them or dislike them, and move on to the next couple 1,000 more we’ll scroll through that hour. Rarely do I find a picture that I sit and stare at but when I do it is because of one of four things: nostalgia, reflection, desire, or an unknown feeling of inspiration

self mine
09 Jul 13 at 5 pm
tags: me  selfie 
me selfie
09 Jul 13 at 4 am


Other people want to keep in touch

Something happens and it’s not enough

Never thought that it would mean so much

(Source: lucknoww)

06 Jul 13 at 5 pm

black cold cliffs

(Source: chicquelo, via nectars)

tags: places 
black cold cliffs
05 Jul 13 at 8 pm


(via christcrazy)

tags: nostalgia 
05 Jul 13 at 8 pm

(via nectars)

tags: art 
05 Jul 13 at 7 pm
tags: brain vomit  2013 

Maybe the gap in the teeth got me,

or those piercing eyes of his

couldn’t tell you really

I was pretty high

I wanted so badly

to say somethin’

but what is there to say

when you know you’ll never have them

but you just can’t look away?

brain vomit 2013
05 Jul 13 at 7 pm


Toro Y Moi x Huge Magazine

why, hello.

(Source: streetetiquette, via beachgothhh)


Toro Y Moi x Huge Magazine

why, hello.
toro y moi huge magazine men fashion men

Ghost riders
art ghost riders yeah mang
05 Jul 13 at 7 pm

(Source: druidstone, via whatevelyn)

tags: art